Dr. Brown
Dedicated in life to one thing, the pursuit of breakfast in bed, Dr. Brown has tried relentlessly, without avail, to find one willing to satisfy his fantasy. It wasn’t until he met Dirty Johnny one night during an innocent Russian Roulette game in Vietnam, that the idea was hatched that he might be the man able to help The Doctor realize his pursuit. Unfortunately, while Dirty Johnny may have been dirty, he wasn’t willing to perform the intricate rituals involved in how breakfast should be served in bed. Eventually, Johnny and The Dr’s interactions broke down into pointless rambles on how to make a fast buck in the back streets of Hong Kong. A relationship bound for disaster.
Years later, after fighting gout, foot fungus and plantars warts for top Taliban officials in Afghanistan, Dr. Brown realized that his life was at an all time low. Returning to Vancouver, he looked up his old acquaintance, Dirty Johnny, knowing full well that by doing so he could plunge his life back into hookers, drugs and countless hours of Russian Roulette. However, learning that Dirty Johnny had turned over a new leaf and was now a world renowned breakfast reviewer, Brown decided he should follow suit. Leaving his old wife, Magda, he decided to join the Breakfast Armada team in aiding Vancouverites to find new and exciting tastes for breakfast, other than those found at the local 7-11. During the early days of the team’s conception, Dr. Brown met his current wife Trixie who has stood behind him in many more ways than it would be prudent to describe in this article.
Although Dr. Brown knows nothing about breakfast, his pursuit of finding that special someone to serve him breakfast in bed has driven him to become one of The Breakfast Armada’s most frustrated critics.
Doctor’s Log
Dr. Brown

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